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Philly vs Toronto: The Battle of Two Cities

In-depth analysis of everything Toronto and Philadelphia that isn’t soccer-related.

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Home to the Philadelphia Union’s opponents on Wednesday night in what will be the Union’s first playoff game (non-USOC) since 2011. This will also be the first time these two clubs have faced off in the MLS playoffs. Since it’s boring to read 20 different articles about how Ken Tribbett has to really be on his game to stop Jozy Altidore and Sebastian Giovinco, I decided to shake things up a bit and compare the two cities in some non-soccer-related fields.

Sports:
Flyers v Maple Leafs: All time the Flyers have a huge lead in the series with an overall record of 93-55-22 with 4 of those games being overtime losses. Good start for Philly.

Sixers v Raptors: In 80 games the Sixers have a 35-45 record against the Jurassic Park-inspired Raptors. This is largely unfair since basketball was invented by a Canadian. Cheating will get you nowhere in life but we are tied with the sports category.

Phillies v Blue Jays: The Jays have the lead with the Phils going 21-30 against the Northerners. Some of our readers (and most of our editorial staff) will remember the 1993 World Series when Joe Carter hit a walk-off home run to win the World Series in Toronto. Tranquillo Barnetta will score a 90th minute free kick tomorrow to avenge Philadelphia.

TV:

Well, I’ll just throw this out here. Willard Smith starred in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air which was a really good show that gave birth to one of the best theme songs of all time. Also, Will Smith wrote Gettin’ Jiggy With It and the theme to Wild Wild West (which was the best thing about the movie). Additionally, Always Sunny takes place here and who doesn’t like Day Man?

Aubrey Drake Graham was on a TV show set in Toronto called Degrassi. He played a wheelchair-bound kid named Jimmy. He now raps about feeling alone and Hotlines Blinging. He also references the “Six” a lot which would be nice if all the area codes I grew up around weren’t 610. He most likely will come out in his next concert wearing a “throwback” TFC Chris Konopka jersey because he’s insufferable. Advantage Philly.

Food:

This is a tough one friends. In Philadelphia we have the cheesesteak (before you ask me, Jim’s on South Street and provolone thank you very much) and in Toronto they totally stole it from Montreal have poutine. I love poutine. Gravy and cheese curds on french fries is amazing. That being said, while not technically a gem either, there’s never been a food that sums up a city like the cheesesteak sums up Philly. It’s simple, it’s delicious, and it occasionally doesn’t rotate players so it loses a ton of games and ends up in a play-in against Toronto FC. Advantage Philly.

In summary, if the Union come out eating Cheesesteaks in Flyers jerseys while singing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme and battling the Night Man, they should have no problems against cheese curds, Joe Carter’s walk off homer, and Drake.

Union win in Tdot (whatever that means) 2-1.

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