New York City FC visitor’s guide

Hi New York City FC fans! Some of you are heading down to Chester this Friday to watch your Pigeons (that's what Wikipedia says the nickname of your team is, and because I couldn't care less what your team is actually called I'll go with it) play the Philadelphia Union, and I thought I would put together a quick guide for some things to do – and to not do – while here.

DO NOT – Assault our law enforcement. These men and women work in one of the most violent cities in America. They’ll kick your ass.

DO NOT – Bring elements of Nazism into our town.

That garbage isn’t welcome here. It isn’t welcome anywhere.

DO NOT – Attempt to steal seats. I know it's tough playing in Yankee Stadium and that you desperately want a stadium of your own. But you can't just steal our seats – you'll have to purchase your own like every other club. Don't you guys have an oil sheikh or something that is supposed to be paying for that? 

DO NOT – Cosplay soccer hooligans. We are pretty laissez-faire about LARP'ing, but there's a time and a place for it. Friday night is not the time to try and live out some Green Street Hooligan fantasy you may have "about me mates" or "a bit of moloko and the ol' ultraviolence with me droogies" or whatever. 

DO – Come and root for your team. Buy hot dogs and beer and yell funny and/or mean things at us for 90 minutes. Enjoy the match without being douchebags, realizing you have a reputation that is preceding you. At this point it's not remarkable when traveling NYCFC fans cause trouble, it's remarkable when they don't cause trouble. Be remarkable.